For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
