I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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