Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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