i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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