Got a toothbrush?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
