I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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