Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It was confusing and full of hummus
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize