we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
