Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize