We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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