Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
