Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
