I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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