Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
