During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
