You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
