not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
