Banned from zoo.
Again?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
