I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
