from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Buhtt sex?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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