it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
