She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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