Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
