what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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