No more Irish car bombs ever.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
