I just cut my nipple shaving
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
