at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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