we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
