a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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