is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
