but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
