the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
