you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
