My friends, they love my intelligence
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
