Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize