I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
