Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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