Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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