I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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