i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
