Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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