remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
