he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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