He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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