marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
