question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
