ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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