batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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