yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
