jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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