my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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