my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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