dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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