he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
