I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it's like iHOP with fire
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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