So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
