I want to make a zoo with you.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
