I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
