i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
