why didn't you poke me back
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
