First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
