I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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