I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
