i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
