no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
