just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
