so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
