Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
