So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
