Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
