who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
