College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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